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15 June 2009 @ 11:12 am
Wentworth/Sarah || Moderation  
Title: Moderation (1/1)
Pairing: Wentworth Miller/Sarah Wayne Callies
Length: 505 words
Rating: R-ish
Summary: He's the one who taught her long ago that true communication is most possible when more than language is relied upon.
Author's Note: A (barely) belated birthday gift for wrldpossibility, whose wit and humor never fail to amuse me. I'm glad it's your birthday, because it's meant lots of goodies on the old flist. *g* It's been awhile since I've stepped out of the RPF closet, but it's, uh, the thought that counts, right? No dialogue on purpose.



It's one step forward, one step back when it comes to him. It's the way it has to be. Everything in moderation.

If he brings her a coffee in the morning, she politely refuses his invitation to join him for lunch. When things get too intimate, too comfortable in an interview, she finds herself calling her publicist requesting that her next batch be done solo. Often she finds herself staying late -- much, much too late -- after she's wrapped for the day, sticking around in his trailer and waiting for him to finish so they can talk. She'll purposely busy herself the next day, trying to avoid the conversations she'd enjoyed so much the day before. And when the looks start to linger, the skimmed touches start to feel just a little too real, and the kisses go a half-second longer than rehearsed, all while the camera is rolling, she makes sure to invite her husband and her daughter -- God, her family -- to set to ensure those things won't continue happening.

Sometimes she worries they're putting on their own show -- Wentworth and Sarah: Clandestine! -- for anyone who's watching to see. It must be obvious, right? It has been to her ever since she returned - perhaps even before. But now he invades her thoughts on a daily basis -- while doing something as mundane as grocery shopping, while she showers, when she awakens in the middle of the night. She throws herself into other things to try and push the thought of them together away. She reads countless scripts that are sent in her direction, even the ones she knows she'll never audition for, she invites countless friends and family members to a birthday party she throws for her husband and spends a long weekend entertaining them all, playing the part of the perfect wife. But he's still there, he's always there.

So much for moderation.

She imagines the thin line they are walking, literally. A tight rope they are both balancing, slowly making their way to each other. And when they meet in the middle, what? Do they turn back and go their separate ways? Or do they fall?

They fall.

They fall, and it's an intense an emotion as she can ever remember feeling before. She's imagined it several -- hundreds -- of times, but none of it could prepare her for the tangible force of him over her, under her, taking her and needing her as much as she needs him. It just happens, they don't speak, they don't need to. After all, he's the one who taught her long ago that true communication is most possible when more than language is relied upon.

It's been building up for months - years? - and when it's over (she knows it will never actually be), she looks and him and still sees her best friend lying next to her. When he calls the next morning to invite her for breakfast, she answers.

Maybe it's time to keep walking forward.
 
excited
mood: excited
 
 
 
pro bono pro bongo: people - went and sarah - sneaky.thismidnight on June 15th, 2009 03:44 pm (UTC)
Went and Saaaarah. I love this. I love them. This is the best first thing to see on my flist in the morning.
i want this to last foreverlinzi20 on June 15th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
kjs;ldkfj;sldkfj;saldkfja;sldkfj;saldkfjs;ldfkjsa;ldfkjasd;lkfj!!!!!!!!!!!111111111ELEVENTY!!!!!!!
Jess: went&sarah  ||  freudianaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
You liked it? I think? *g*
i want this to last forever: Text-You Inspire Melinzi20 on June 16th, 2009 02:33 am (UTC)
Yes, dear. And I want to know where you've been hiding? WHY HAVE WE NOT HAD AN ABUNDANCE OF RPF FROM YOU, WHY???????????

/rant.

Loved it to itty bitty bits.
Jess: michael&sara  ||  parentalaboutbefore on June 16th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
I didn't realize how much I'd missed writing Michael/Sara and Wentworth/Sarah until I got back into it. Now I wonder why I ever went anywhere. And how about you? The ficlet you posted for Amy's birthday was glorious.
i want this to last forever: Went/Sarah-RPFlinzi20 on June 18th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
Why, thank you, darling *g*
this isn't binanos.: pb | sara is a hottieadventurepants on June 15th, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC)
You are an awesome lady, my bestest.
Jess: michael&sara  ||  hotaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:47 pm (UTC)
You have a nice face.
min.: pb; epic lovegreeneyes_17 on June 15th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
!! *flails* this is awesome. (: heh. thank you!
Jess: swc  ||  interviewaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading.
torogitorogi on June 15th, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC)
What linzi20 said. GUUUH! I can't really find any more coherent words but thank you :)

They're hot, no?
Jess: swc  ||  sultryaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
Very hot. Very, very hot.
bnleah: wm/swc - paleybnleah on June 15th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
Oh oh oh oh... Gorgeous. Love it. Gonna read it again now. I love when you delve into rpf.
Jess: went&sarah  ||  freudianaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
*sigh* I just love RPF, and it seems like there's been a sudden influx of it on my flist this past week. Remember when it was all the rage?

Part of me wants to write a giant long RPF now (could I keep that going at the same time as a Michael/Sara fic? busy, busy) but I know that won't happen.

I just love them though.
wrldpossibility: PB RPF moral compasswrldpossibility on June 15th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, I just love this! It reads like a distant reflection of Unscripted (to my eyes, simply because that's on the brain) and the specific examples you give of the ways in which Sarah keeps things at arm's length is perfect...just dead on.

This is my favorite bit:

She imagines the thin line they are walking, literally. A tight rope they are both balancing, slowly making their way to each other. And when they meet in the middle, what? Do they turn back and go their separate ways? Or do they fall?

They fall.


Gah. Perfect.

Thank you so much for writing it! I love your writing!
Jess: went&sarah  ||  close-upaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
So glad you liked it, Amy! The idea swirled in my mind all weekend, and I finally got to sit down and type it out this morning.

I saw your post early, and I'm glad you had a great birthday.
eight8toes on June 15th, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
You are made of gold. Really.

*hugs this fic and you*

Lookit, I can use my RPF icon with you, too! :D
Jess: went&sarah  ||  hairaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

And okay, you must explain that icon to me.
eight8toes on June 15th, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
Well, it started some time ago, when HIAB happened, and some people were saying that SWC fans were stupid. So I got sunnydust make me a "I'm with stoopid" icon.

Then linzi20's husband called Went "baldy" for some reason I can remember, so it turned into "Baldy's with Stoopid".

Look, sometimes even Amaury's with Stoopid :)
Jenny: wentsaramanip:I love rpfeveningflares on June 15th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
Gah! I love this, a lot!
*points to icon*
*is giddy*
Jess: went&sarah  ||  hairaboutbefore on June 15th, 2009 07:52 pm (UTC)
I love RPF too! *g*
Fimuldy on June 15th, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC)
God i love your fics! I miss Wentworth and Sarah RPF. And this was awesome.
Jess: swc  ||  sultryaboutbefore on June 16th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
Fi! I'm so glad you stopped in to read it. I would write RPF for you any day.
Fimuldy on June 16th, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC)
I actually went to work and wrote RPF in my notebook after reading this. Do you know how long it's been since I wrote RPF?!

You must've inspired me.
Jess: michael&sara  ||  disheveledaboutbefore on June 18th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
Now I want to write a plethora of RPF. Suggestions?
Fimuldy on June 18th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
10 Years Later. "What could...no should have been."

Go write!
gennnnnna: *sheepish grin*gennagurl on June 15th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
I will definitely be the number ONE fan of that show - Wentworth and Sarah: Clandestine!, when it comes out..

Oh wait, I think we have been watching these two together already! :P LOL :P
Jessaboutbefore on June 16th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
I'm a fan of anything they do together!

Almost.
alienmom: S4 no escapealienmom on June 15th, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
holy crap!!! *jaw on desk*

that was so unbelievably fantastic!!! every word perfect!!! you really need to write more RPF because you seem to have a gift with SWC & WM.

but this:

he's the one who taught her long ago that true communication is most possible when more than language is relied upon.

made me slide out of my chair into a puddle of goo!
Jess: sara  ||  bamfaboutbefore on June 16th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)
So, so glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!
Rosie: sara - wispy hairrosie_spleen on June 16th, 2009 01:16 am (UTC)
OH.

OHHHHHHHHHHH.

Now, this? this is glorious, Jess. Fabulous writing, fabulous tension, and the love scene intimation? PERFECT. I often analyze teh_love scene because sometimes I find them boring to write - this was amazing.

I think this fandom has missed your writing - quite seriously.
Loved this. Welcome back.


And, I forgot to mention = Wentworth & Sarah: Clandestine? LOL

Edited at 2009-06-16 01:17 am (UTC)
Jess: went&sarah  ||  hairaboutbefore on June 16th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
I'm totally going to gush over your comment because absolutely nothing pleases me more than when someone whose writing I love has something nice to say about mine.

Went and Sarah are just so easy to fall back into (which, hmm, is a bit of an amusing thought because I think most RPF relies on the idea that's how they feel towards each other). There is just something comfortable and old-fashioned about them.

It's classic Casablanca. Of all the gin joins, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into his.
Peter Pan: PB - bus to hellsunnydust on June 16th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC)
ooooh awesome !!!! *claps hands*

I see that fortune cookie did a good job with its plot bunny ! I am beyond glad !! *g*
Jess: michael&sara  ||  touchaboutbefore on June 18th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
It did, didn't it? Perhaps I should eat Chinese more often.
mommytoluke on June 19th, 2009 04:54 pm (UTC)
I have missed your writing so much! You certainly didn't lose any talent!

Now, can I please ask for more Delicate? Pretty please?
Genevieve: went and sarah by sezmsgenevieve on June 20th, 2009 09:26 am (UTC)
It's been building up for months - years? - and when it's over (she knows it will never actually be), she looks and him and still sees her best friend lying next to her. When he calls the next morning to invite her for breakfast, she answers.

I LOVE you.